Monday, 31 March 2014

Instinctive feeling is it?

Dad was very much willing to see at least one doctor from among his four children. He tried whatever he could to fulfil his desire. He admitted us to decent schools, always helped us with our studies, provided private tutors, etc,.

My dad was very focused of what he wanted his children to be. On the other hand the saddest part for us was that the medical college was and still is situated on a hill top just in front of our house. Every day dad used to show us the college and remind us of how fortunate we were to be born there, else people come from so far off places to study there. Everyday it had as if become a ritual for us to hear those lines which we secretly hated.

His first struggle started with his eldest son, a die hard cricket fan and a district level player himself. Dad was so determined that one fine day he took my brother to visit the medical college, hoping that the atmosphere there might help my cricket crazy brother to divert his mind from cricket to studies. But my brother, before entering the college compound, peed at its gate. At that my father was furious and came home and declared that a person who pees at the gates of an institute before entering it, should never be allowed to enter its premises. 

Then dad's focus shifted to my second brother. But this brother of mine was not a person to act on somebody else's wish, what if it was his own father's? He was least bothered. Then obviously the indicator was bound to shifted towards me. 

I was very ambitious. My class tenth results were out. I passed with flying colours and that also with letter marks in Mathematics. Dad was the happiest. He felt as if he had won half the battle. But, my declaration that I would not be studying science, shattered my dad. But I knew, though I scored above 80 percent in maths but I was not at all comfortable with physics, chemistry and biology. I asked dad if he wanted me to see study further or not. I told him very clearly that I did not understand science. At that, it seemed dad understood me and allowed to study arts. But it still hurts me that I could not fulfil my dad's wish.

On the other hand though my sister was studious yet my father was not so stern with her studies because my sister was not at all ambitious. She studied because she had to study. She always used to say that she does not want to study much. She declared that the day she would get married she would stop her studies. But she was the one who had to study the most. Because she got married a bit late and dad made her study one after another. After her graduation she did her BEd, then she studied law but just before she could complete she got married and she did exactly what she told before- she quit from her law school.

My purpose of writing such a long post is that there is no point, parents should compel their children to choose a career of their parent's choice. It is better that the child be given the right to choose his or her career. Because if the child obliges and fulfils his /her parents' wish its better but if he/she does not oblige why the parents hurt themselves in the process. But yes, parents should be always there to show them the right way so that they do not get indulge into any anti social activities. 

But now, the irony is that my brother complains that his son is adamant to study commerce and that my brother feels that there is no life in commerce for a student like his son and on the other hand I started convincing my daughter to study science when she grows up so that she can either go to medical or engineering studies. 

Now, I wonder if it is instinctive for all parents to feel the same as my dad felt.



Picture courtesy : Google Images

12 comments:

  1. I think so, we all want what we think is best for our children. However, in the end our children want to follow their own path. We can only hope the values we taught them will hold. A lovely post Ranita and one I enjoyed. Thank you :)

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    1. Thank you Denise..You are absolutely right- at the end they want to follow their own path..

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  2. Brilliant post, Ranita. It's a shame that your dad had so many disappointments yet understandable that his children wanted to choose their own way in life. I suppose as parents we feel responsible but it's more important to be supportive.

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    1. Yes its a shame because none of us were able to fulfil our dad's wish..but he at the end was happy with our decisions..

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  3. Parents have a definition of success. They think their children will become successful if they become doctor or engineer etc. Let the children be themselves. No point in doing something which you don't like.

    My dad wanted me to be a doctor. I was good in biology, maths etc. However, the result of the engineering entrance came before the medical results. So I was too happy to join engineering. My dad didn't force me, even though he always wanted me to be a doctor. I respect him for that. Having said that, I too went with engineering because it was the flavour of the season. Everybody wanted to become engineer, so I too became one. They every colleague of mine wanted to become an MBA, so I too became one. :) Fortunately, after many years in corporate world, finally I am doing something which is giving me happiness.

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    1. Glad to hear from you after such a long time..you are absolutely right that at the end we are happy doing something that gives us happiness..

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  4. Ranita, great post.
    I believe that everyone should do what he likes then it is a fulfilled and the happy...
    Greetings from far away but already the Spring Polish ♥ ♥ ♥ Lucia

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    1. Lucy I too believe that one should be allowe to do whatever he/she likes..thanks and greetings..

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    1. Yes Deepak exactly..thanks for your comments..

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  6. Nice post. I feel sorry for your dad. His intention was not to force something on his kids. May be it was his passion that at least one kid becomes a doctor. I am sure he does not have that disappointed feelings now.

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    1. It was definitely his passion..because he himself could not due to many reasons he wanted one of us to be one..My dad was later happy with what we have become..thanks SG..

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